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Illicit activity

I am being unfaithful.  I’m cheating on my novel with my blog.  Kind of like Charles and Camilla.  I know it’s wrong but I just can’t stop myself from going back……

I’m going to have to leave the Royal family analogy now though as part of the reason I have returned to my blog is vanity.  Yes, it turns out my artistic ego is not above swelling in response to gentle massage.  Over the last few days several people told me that they liked my blog.  One person also told me that some of my posts weren’t very good but we’ll leave that aside for now. It’s nice to receive compliments.  So far although I have produced over 10,000 words of top quality crime-fiction nobody has told me they like my book.  Admittedly nobody has been allowed to read my book so far, indeed the rules of NaNoWriMo even prohibit me from reading my own work back as I’m not supposed to edit anything.  This is proving awkward as I have now forgotten the names of two minor characters.

Blogging about my novel is completely acceptable though.  Indeed I’ve learned over the last week that the most important component to being a writer is to talk about your writing, once people stop listening you should start writing about writing, but don’t actually write anything, unless it’s about writing.

A lot of people have wondered how I have the time to write a book.  So far I have claimed that  I don’t know.  However I’ve given this some thought and obviously I must know as I am doing it.  So I’ve compiled a  short list:

Things I have given up in order to write my novel:

  1. Reality television (apart from the Apprentice and Strictly come dancing)
  2. Baths (please don’t be alarmed, I am still washing frequently, however I have exchanged my hour-long bath for a very quick shower)
  3. Conversation with my husband.  There is this skinny blonde guy who lives in my house, the children seem fond of him but I can’t quite place him
  4. Baking, sadly I have gained 10lbs since the summer so this is a blessing
  5. My blog (ahem)
  6. Reading – I am still allowing myself ten minutes before I go to sleep at night but I am rendered so intellectually stunted by my incessant writing and lack of reality television that I have debased myself to the level of re-reading the 50 shades of grey trilogy – yes I know this is weird, let’s move on.
  7. Computer games – fortunately Allan has taken on the onerous task of caring for our virtual dragon farm, what would I do without him?
  8. Sleep – is for losers
  9. Any form of exercise – see above
  10. Photography – sorry no pictures!

So there you have it.  Anybody can write a book as long as you are willing to ignore your husband, stop washing, exercising and sleeping and only eat ready meals. In fact I’m finding it so easy I’ve taken on a really complicated knitting project as well.


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12 thoughts on “Illicit activity

  1. LOL. I’ ve been cheating on my new novel, too… with my old trilogy. I have scenes for it in my head that won’t make room for my new novel. So I’m getting a bit NaNo Rebel and I’m working on both and just combining the word counts.

  2. I’m sure I told you months ago that I love your Blog too !

  3. This is funny and all very true! Keep up the good work. Whilst you seem to have given sleep up to complete your novel, you might want a brisk read of this:


    • Very interesting! Obviously I’m going to ignore much of that advice. I’ve only ever entered one short story competition and I don’t enjoy writing them. It’s interesting that you suggest that one must write good flash fiction and then progress to short stories then novellas then novels. I am fairly sure that many published authors do not follow this progression and a fair number of them don’t even know what flash fiction is! I think to be succesful as a writer you need to write in a format that you are comfortable with. My first love is novels. I predominately read novels and I actually like to hold the book in my hand, none of this kindle nonsense. My ambition has always been to write a novel and I think I can do this without spending time on disciplines which are not enjoyable to me. My blog is something I do for my own enjoyment, I don’t expect anything to come of it but it has got me into the habit of writing and thinking about writing much more regularly than I ever have before.

      I gave up my crappy job and I’ve reached a stage in my life where I’m really quite happy. I find that I don’t write when I’m unhappy and I have given up the idea that writing will be some sort of escape from the harsh world of employment. I now have a job I enjoy and it leaves me time to write too (well, as long as I don’t sleep). So I’m going to keep going with the novel for now.

      I have bookmarked your post though……….just in case it all goes wrong!

      • Thanks for reading the post. Only speaking if nothing has worked already, obviously if everything is going well, then don’t change, what would be the point. But as you know from being a writer and meeting other writers, people often start at the top with having vitually no experience to begin with, this is just a little suggestion to go back on yourself and start small. You obviously have the knack, its a real surprise how many people who begin to write but have no idea where to start and think that writing a novel is easy… Every writer knows its not easy 😉

        Again thanks for reading my post, I look forward in reading your book when its published 🙂

        All the best

  4. Oh my gosh it’s so good to read your blog. Can’t wait for the book.

  5. Did you happen to see that Ian Rankin programme on BBC1? I watched it on iplayer last night and found it very encouraging. It follows his experience of writing a book from scratch and it’s nice to know that even as successful a writer as he is struggles at times. It’s here, if you’re interested:…_Winter_2012_Ian_Rankin_and_the_Case_of_the_Disappearing_Detective/

    I don’t know how you’re managing not to re-read any of what you’ve written, I’d be in a right pickle if that were me, as I don’t make proper notes as I go along (I do in theory, but then I discover I’ve completely omitted to note down quite important points such as dates, names, etc. ). How many words do you have to write before you can start editing?

    I’m glad you’re cheating on the book with the blog now and then, it’s nice to hear how you’re getting on, and a change is as good as a rest.

    • thanks for the link I didn’t see the Ian Rankin program but I have been meaning to watch it as he’s coming to the Colonsay book festival next year! Sorry, got to get up and do a short excited dance around the room…….

      ok I’m back now. I will watch it at the weekend, even better if it gives me some tips. The NaNoWriMo premise is that you write a 50,000 draft without doing any editing. You should complete the 50,000 by the end of November at which point you can start editing. I could probably read back a bit but if I do I will start changing things or thinking how rubbish it is so I find this way is better, except the forgetting peoples names! How is your book coming along?

      • That is very exciting! I didn’t know that Colonsay had its own book festival. He seems quite committed to these sorts of events, and think it’s a great way of inspiring fellow writers.

        It’s great the the NoNoWriMo method is working for you, and to be at 10,000 words this early on in the month is superb! My book’s nearly at 15,000 words, thanks to having been able to concentrate on it quite a bit recently. However, I do sometimes read bits over again and change them, so it’s probably much slower than your way of doing it.

        It’s strange how writing can sometimes be a very productive and satisfying business, and at other times quite painfully laborious. I find this George Orwell quote very reassuring: “Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout with some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.”

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