Regression

I think I’m having some sort of second childhood, or maybe even a second adolescence.

Allan left yesterday for a stag weekend so I promptly moved myself plus children and dog in with my parents.  I then went out to work leaving my Dad to babysit, came home to find my dinner on the table, consumed dinner, put children to bed (ably assisted by my Mum) and then went out to the pub quiz.

I felt quite guilty about all of this anyway. So imagine the depth of my guilt when I came in at 11:30pm (having stopped in to feed Sally lamb on my way down the field) to find my be-dressingowned father holding a squalling Sally.  All the milk I had left for her had been drunk and he was powerless in the face of her wrath.  So extensive was my guilt that I felt compelled to bake a cake as a form of apology this afternoon.  We’ve just eaten most of it between the three of us so I think my apology has been accepted.

It was worth it though as I was actually on the winning team of the pub quiz.  I love pub quizzes.  I was thinking this over today and I sorely regret not having attended more quizzes throughout my life.  Now I’m a parent and my life is practically over I realise that I’ve squandered far to many evenings with staying at home watching ‘The Apprentice’ when I could have been out quizzing.  Sadly my few quiz victories have been inexorably linked to one man – Colonsay’s resident quizmaster.  (Well he’s not actually the quizmaster – at the moment Colonsay has a quiz mistress – what I mean is that he is a master of quizzes).  The reputation of this man precedes him and on approaching the hotel for any quiz all people can talk about is how they might manage to be on his team.  In fact it’s not unusual to have to fight ones way to the front of a scrum of eager quizzers all fighting tooth and nail to take up that hallowed bar stool next to him.  I’m not foolish enough to think I would ever stand a chance of winning the quiz without this man but last night I did bask in the glory of knowing such snippets as the name of the oldest Von Trappe child (I knew those 242 viewings of The Sound of Music weren’t wasted) and that ‘I dreamed a dream’ comes from les Miserables.

For us mothers the problem with the Colonsay pub quiz is that it doesn’t finish until well after 10pm.  If you are then victorious you are suddenly hit by £40 to spend on Alcohol (admittedly split between six of you this doesn’t go far on Colonsay) which, if you are a lightweight like me, you will be in no fit state to consume.  It doesn’t matter though, it’s the moral victory that counts.

I spent today basking in the glory of my victory, feeling mildly hungover and running up and down the field to feed Sally lamb.  Helen was up very early and I found myself pushing the buggy through the driving rain at 10am this morning just so that the wind in my ears would drown out the sound of her whingeing.  All this single parenting is building up plenty brownie points though – all of which will be redeemed next week when it’s my turn to head off to a hen weekend and leave Allan in charge.  Those poor children won’t konw what’s hit them.